When first researching the human deficit of social and emotional balance, I came to the conclusion that in order for a person to attain some level of balance, they must be willing to express their thoughts and emotions. I later came to reflect upon my own personal experience with an anxiety disorder, which in turn was negatively affecting my ability to decide on a course of action for this project.

This internal emotional struggle to stop overanalyzing every aspect of a situation is something I am very familiar with, as I deal with it on a daily basis. In this instance, I was experiencing such anxiety over this project that I had to talk myself down from launching into a series of panic attacks.

The irony of my project’s subject matter (emotional balance) and my struggle with anxiety at first existed separately, until I realized I could unify them.

In a way, through this installation, I have created my own kind of therapy. I focused on what made sense to me – A need to communicate and express myself in order to balance my constant stream of negative thinking. And through this expression, my goal was to create a unique experience.

My intent through this installation is for the viewer to experience the overwhelming struggle of balancing rational thought in a panic situation. The piece is focused around expressive typography, using words that often flash through my mind when I attempt to rationalize my anxious thoughts — Going back and forth between thoughts of panic and remembering to breathe, simplifying my fears, and the distraction of my rapidly beating heart as it quickens its pace. The viewer’s attention is constantly being diverted from one word to another, while also dealing with the distraction of a rapidly increasing heartbeat. This is meant to be viewed over a period of time, in a darkened room or perhaps an enclosed area.

This piece was constructed using chipboard, foam core, and vellum. The three-dimensional letters were first cut out of styrofoam before being wrapped with a strip of dampened cardboard. Once dried, the letters were removed from the styrofoam, set into a panel of foam core, and painted white. Smart LED lights called Blinkm’s were each programmed with a light sequence and placed behind the words. The light filters through each word, which has a vellum front to diffuse the light.

What the viewer decides to walk away with after experiencing this installation is entirely up to them. It is not my wish to force any kind of solution or preach a particular message about the misconceptions surrounding anxiety and its affect on society. It simply exists as a form of expression that is meant to simulate the struggle of balancing one’s emotions when they are unable to be controlled. It is the product of my theory – That to express is the best way to balance. Everyone just has their own way of channeling their emotions.

I continued to cut out the letters and allow the chipboard to dry around the styrofoam molds. I then adhered each word to a pieces of foam core and painted each word white.

After approximately 24 hours of solid work and construction, the piece was finally done. The actual construction process ended up being quite theraputic for me. I very much enjoyed working with my hands and expressing myself through these materials.

I then programmed each light individually to run on a loop. After critiquing this method, I was torn between keeping the words on a random loop as opposed to creating a narrative or story that unfolds as you watch. The latter method involves a much more complex way of prgramming the lights over an I2C bus, which was too much for me to conquer within a week. While I also enjoy the randomness involved in the light sequence in that each word has its own personality, I would like to implement a narrative-based installation at some point down the road.

Below is a light test – The lights have not yet been refined. The music in the background is not connected.

I have successfully been able to create a circuit that powers all 6 LED’s simultaneously through Arduino’s 5 volt power supply. This allows the lights to display brighter than they would if they were each connected to their own 3v coin battery. The circuit is still wired to accomodate for multiple BlinkM communication through Arduino, which will be revisited when time allows.

I think it could be interesting to document both ways this piece can communicate or create an experience (random versus story-based). The random aspect of the lights as they are kept on an individual timed loop is intriguing as it leaves the experience up to interpretation. A narrative approach would be more guided. Each method has its pros and cons. Perhaps documenting it in these two ways will allow me to see which experience is better suited to getting my message across.

As it is, leaving the experience an the random sequence of lights up to interpretation certainly ties into my initial intent:

It is not my wish to force any kind of solution or preach a particular message about the misconceptions surrounding anxiety and its affect on society. It simply exists as a form of expression that is meant to simulate the struggle of balancing one’s emotions when they are unable to be controlled. It is the product of my theory – That to express is the best way to balance. Everyone just has their own way of channeling their emotions.

My BlinkM LED’s arrived and I was anxious to unwrap them and begin testing their capabilities.

Each BlinkM can be plugged right into the Arduino board and programmed through a light sequencer. I began testing it with a simple sequence. Note how the colors on the laptop screen are in sync with the colors that are played on the LED.

I also finished constructing the word “focus” – I mounted the chipboard letters to white foam core and glued vellum to the tops for the light to filter through.

At this point I began to see how the piece will eventually come together. Each light has the capability of running its progammed light sequence when connected to a simple 3v lithium coin cell battery, as tested here:

This would suffice for testing the lights for each word before connecting them to the same circuit and powering them all at the same time through Arduino.

Over the course of a weekend, I worked dilligently on constructing my 3-dimensional type piece which will be the base for my light installation.

I first began by cutting each word/letter out of styrofoam with a knife. I had attempted to use a heated styrofoam knife, but it decided not to work.

Below you can see the before and after result of one constructed word: focus. On the left the styrofoam letters are each wrapped with a strip of wet chipboard. Masking tape it used to keep the chipboard together as it dries around the styrofoam molds. On the right is the end result – The dried chipboard shells of each letter with the open ends glued together to close it up.

The way the chipboard dries and its imperfections when trying to mold it around the letters was something I utilized. The way the form becomes another version of the intended shape…Like a slightly warped and disjointed outline of the perfect styrofoam counterparts. The words began to take on personality as I constructed them in this way.

Some basic messy sketching involving construction…beginning to test different materials, such a laser cut luan (plywood):

Afraid that laser cutting materials will be more impersonal. Want to have my hand in this piece, construct with intent to express emotion through type, not calculated measurements and perfection.

I want this piece to have layers of depth. I want the light that illuminates each word to reflect in a different way, according to how the word means to me. Using 3-dimensional shapes for the more prominent things that stick out in my mind, different ways to cut out the letters for the words or thoughts that are in the back of my mind, or buried behind thoughts of fear and panic.

I began testing ways to contruct 3-D letters that will allow me to shine light through them. After testing a variety of materials (paper mache, starched fabric, wet bristol board…) I settled on a final method that appears to work quite well:

I cut the letter “S” roughly out of thick styrofoam to use as a base to wrap materials around that would potentially dry and form a shell of the letter. The most successful of all the materials I tested was chipboard. I cut one strip of chipboard, soaked in briefly in water (to make forming and bending easier), and wrapped it around a shape. Once dried, the chipboard creates a very stable shell of the shape it was wrapped around. I would like to use this method of 3-D lettering on certain words that are most influencial in the installation.

After some discussion about lighting, I have switched my intent to back-light this piece from using Christmas Lights to using high-power LED’s. Specifically, a smart/programmable LED called BlinkM which I found when doing research on LED hookup. These little LED’s are easy to use for those new to setting up LED lights, as each one has a microcontroller built into it which allows for easy programming and application.

I have bought 6 of these, which will be arriving in the mail shortly.

talked to my boss today about using the laser cutting machine and materials.

will most likely construct the back out of a cheap wood – outlines of background words will be etched into the wood and then painted white. added more language to better illustrate anxious thought.

the letters themselves will be cut out as windows and a colored vellum backing for the light to shine through. contemplating whether or not type needs to be 3D – if so, will cost a lot more to build.

enjoy the idea of different thicknesses for 3-D type constructed out of different materials. the crudeness to the craft and the way it comes across is interesting. need to stray away from the idea of cookie-cutter laser-cutting making everything look uniform.

I’ve been trying to integrate an interactive element into this. It’s hard to test, but I like the idea of using different lenses to look at the piece through – Different perspectives and effects. This could represent the misconceptions or preconceptions about anxiety disorders. Using different materials to diffuse the light from the composition.

Matt Carr used a similar approach in his piece “come up to my room” – http://mocoloco.com/archives/010506.php

The concept is much different, but the way the composition changes according to the lenses you look through is intriguing.

Original type sketches:

Sketches were scanned and refined in illustrator.

Quick sketch in Flash to illustrate the desired lighting effects – Not refined, just a general idea. This sketch seems underwhelming, but I get excited thinking about it large-scale with actual color and value, flickering, better timing, etc.

For the thinner, curvier type I may look into constructing it out of LED rope lights.

Depending on budget/construction issues.

I constructed a letter out of cardboard and vellum in order to test scale and light. It’s pretty messy, and I haven’t had a chance to test controlling the lights with Arduino yet, but it’s a start.

I may also try the same method on a box, with words written on the vellum in black, so that the background of the word is illuminated rather than the word itself.